Dammit, Slater, they were THIS close!

We already know that deer are the single biggest threat to outdoors-loving Americans.

But can you name the single biggest threat to peace in the Middle East?


That's right: pro surfers.

Kelly Slater was detained in Jerusalem early Saturday after getting into a scuffle with paparazzi who were trying to snap a shot of him and model Bar Rafaeli as they left a hotel.

Hey, what was Kelly Slater doing in Jerusalem anyway?

Slater was visiting Israel for the first time to promote the group “Surfing for Peace.”

Ah. Okay. This story already came with a punchline. That's cool -- I have a lot of other work to do.