Teddy Mather is soft on terrorism.
Okay, even for the Internet, this is pretty dumb. The National Parks Conservation Association wants to make a point about, I believe, our National Parks. They don't think their issues are being addressed.
So they're running a guy in a bear costume for President. Ha! You tried to fool me, NPCA, but after careful study, I can confidently state: this is NOT a real bear!
There's a video, too, but it's too lame for me to post here. I guess I DO have standards. Huh.
Oh, and they've named the bear "Teddy Mather." A bear named TEDDY? Outrageous!
If I end up voting for a bear, it will be this one:
This is my kind of candidate. He has what it takes.
If it were up to probable communist and UNMARRIED bear Teddy "The Weakling" Mather, we'd all be sharing our grubs and blackberries with Al-Qaeda -- instead of kicking ass in the greater Tahoe area, and eventually the world.
Teddy Mather: bad video, bad for America.
So they're running a guy in a bear costume for President. Ha! You tried to fool me, NPCA, but after careful study, I can confidently state: this is NOT a real bear!
There's a video, too, but it's too lame for me to post here. I guess I DO have standards. Huh.
Oh, and they've named the bear "Teddy Mather." A bear named TEDDY? Outrageous!
If I end up voting for a bear, it will be this one:
This is my kind of candidate. He has what it takes.
"People were screaming at him, the horn was going off, but he was completely unaware. He did what he wanted to do, and the people didn't matter."Well, of COURSE he did whatever he wanted. Do you want a bear-president who makes decisions based on the polls, or do you want a bear-president who knows how to stay the course?
The bear remained inside the 1964 Buick Skylark for about 20 minutes and at times put his paws on the dash as if he were holding on for a ride, Patterson said.
If it were up to probable communist and UNMARRIED bear Teddy "The Weakling" Mather, we'd all be sharing our grubs and blackberries with Al-Qaeda -- instead of kicking ass in the greater Tahoe area, and eventually the world.
Teddy Mather: bad video, bad for America.
posted by T-Fly at 2:13 PM
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1 Comments:
Soft on terrorism, indeed. Mather will keep the nation's parks open to animals of all nationalities, on the American taxpayer's dime! Fences? He has said again and again that fences are antithetical to his people, that we are "one earth."
In addition, he will ask Congress for unlimited spending to resolve the "global warming crisis"; in fact, this is one of his stated campaign goals! Never mind that China's pollutants are far worse than America's. Never mind that the Martian polar ice caps are melting as fast as Earth's. Of course, when asked about this little bit of observable science, Mather responded, "It's more complex than that. You've got to look at the big picture."
An inveterate socialist, Mather has no other goals than pork barrel projects. In fact, he has never held an elected public office. One wonders what political machine is propelling him upward onto the national scene.
Of course, one doesn't have to wonder very long. Teddy Mather is a known confederate of the World Wildlife Fund's Panda mascot, known to the public only as "WWF Panda". Sources at their alma mater reveal that they were both part of the One World club, a socialist breeding ground. One only wonders what part Mather will play in the coming New World Order.
You know as well as I do that Stephen Colbert has big reasons for fearing the Panda-Industrial Complex...
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