Do not be fooled by their vacant stares.

I want to take a moment to address the single greatest threat to outdoors-loving Americans:
That's right, deer. Especially horny deer.

BALL GROUND, Ga. -- A man who kept deer on his property was killed when one gored him with its antlers, authorities said.

The deer was one of several Frix kept. His relatives told sheriff's deputies the deer had recently been acting very aggressive, probably due to rut -- the period when deer mate.

Well, that's life in Ball Ground, I guess. But let's try to remain calm here. After all, it's an isolated --

Deer kill about 150 people a year in the Unites States. But most of those deaths happen when deer are involved in collisions with automobiles.

OH MY GOD! CRAZY RUTTING DEER ARE TRYING TO BRING OUR COUNTRY DOWN FROM WITHIN! THE CHILDREN -- WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?!!?!

I think before we address lesser threats (such as, say, Iran) something should be done about the deer. For now, remain especially vigilant: the rut is on, and the gloves are coming off.

A family member later shot and killed the deer.

It's a start.